How You Are Changing (both boy and girl editions) by Jane Graver

This book is the third out of a six-part series titled, “Sex Series for Boys/Girls.” This book specifically delves into bodily changes during puberty, sexuality, and physical intimacy from a Christian framework. This book begins with addressing emotions and then moves on to physical anatomy. It outlines the purpose of sexuality, which leads to a chapter on human gestation. The latter chapters discuss how to take care of one’s changing body and how to respect other people’s bodies.

Reading Level: 9-11 years old

*This review is for the stand-alone book, How You Are Changing, not the entire series.*

The pre-teen years usher in a time of great change leaving parents searching for resources to help explain these anatomical changes to their children. As Christians, parents also look for resources that align with Scripture and root these changes in God’s Word. How You Are Changing does an excellent job addressing male and female physical development. The author talks about both male and female body differences, names reproductive organs, addresses how reproductive organs function, and gives scientific information on fetal development. The book even provides bolded words and their definitions to reference in the back of the book. That being so, the book may appear as more of a “biology textbook” to some readers and could leave younger readers confused as to “how does that actually work in real life?” The author does encourage parents in the forward about how to use this book and provides ideas to springboard deeper conversations.

Two other areas where this book did an excellent job were explaining the doctrine of Imago Dei (being made in God’s image) and addressing pornography. The author said, “When you watch or buy things that are sinful, you are sharing and supporting that sin,” and goes on to explain that includes a broad array of content – not just the internet. This book also gives the biological basics of sexual intercourse and how it is a blessing for married couples to enjoy.

The book attempts to root topics in Scripture but in doing so leaves some points of theological confusion. First of all, this book assumes the reader is a Christian, so there is a lot of usage of “child of God.” The author does state, “One way we are all the same is that we are loved by God and saved through faith in Jesus.” While this does imply that you need to have faith to be saved, the author muddied the waters as the book continued. As the book progressed, it became clear the author referenced all people as children of God. However, not all people are children of God, because not all people choose to put their faith in Christ for salvation. All people are made in God’s image and because of that have tremendous dignity and worth. However, the Bible is clear that only people who have a saving faith in the person of Jesus are children of God and adopted into a spiritual family.

Along those lines, the author never explained how one can become a child of God. There was a lot of messaging such as, “God loved you enough to send His son, Jesus, to be your savior,” and, “because of Jesus, you are a new creation.” However, the mechanics of the Gospel were never clearly presented. The closest answer to how one is saved added greater confusion. “When the Holy Spirit called you through God’s Word and baptism, God made you a member of His family. Now as you learn more about Jesus, you are growing as a Christian.” This sentence makes it seem that baptism is salvific and Jesus is someone we should imitate after we are saved – rather than Jesus being the saving object and means of our faith alone! Additionally, there was no mention of contrition, confession, or repentance from sin in this book. Whether or not the author theologically believes those things, this assurance that the reader is a child of God without stating how one becomes a child of God was confusing. Another line, “Thank you for your Son, who makes all things right when I mess up or when I am
ungrateful…You make me excited for my future,” just seemed to follow suit with the overall theme that God vaguely saves us making us “better.” Messages such as God loves you, He wants you to be with Him forever, He designed the world with you in mind, and He wants you to be happy were overemphasized, leading to an incomplete view of the human condition.

Next, I disagree with the author’s take on emotions. The author states that emotions are a part of your body and a part of who you are. The author then goes on to say, ”Remember, God loves you no matter what…so just be yourself, the terrific, talented person God made. And be yourself, a person with emotions.” Many theologians would argue humans are body and spirit (some would argue body, spirit, and soul). Emotions show we uniquely image God, but it cannot be claimed that emotions are a part of our identity to be accepted as who we are. Emotions must be filtered by the truth of the Word of God rather than unquestionably followed – especially with human depravity to take in account.

Lastly, there were theological issues presented on the topic of marriage. Verses were taken out of context to support these views, and the main goal of marriage was lost. The author stated, “A woman and a man get married because they love each other very much. Each of
them has found a special friend,” and, “Guided by Him, you can choose a wife who will share your life. The love you have for each other will be extra special if God lives in both of you.” Our purpose is to glorify God and make Him known. We can do that individually or united in a convent of marriage submitted wholly to the will of God. God provided us with guidelines on healthy relationships through His Word. Believers are not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers in close relationships, especially in the sacred intuition of marriage. The author made it seem that if you find a believing spouse, it’s just “extra special,” but not Biblically mandated. Additionally, the author stated that loving others would bring us the greatest fulfillment. Our greatest fulfillment is found through loving, knowing, and glorifying our Creator. We work diligently as His stewards, knowing we will give an account of how we stewarded the gifts (including children) He gave to us. In His providence, many gifts God gives are rewarding and fulfilling, but our aim is not to base our satisfaction and fulfillment on anything other than God.

Language:
Dumb, sissy

Sexual Language:
Sex, sexual organs, sperm, egg, penis, scrotum, testicle, semen, anus, vulva, vagina, ovaries, fallopian tubes, uterus, placenta, intercourse, making love, jock itch, athletic supporter, athletic cup, nocturnal emission, wet dreams, breast buds, menstruation, tampon, bra, circumcision

This review was written by Good Book Mom contributor, Emily. To learn more about Emily, click HERE.

This post may contain affiliate links. Please read our disclaimer for more info.